Okay, Coach Kenn, self-awareness? What is this nonsense about being aware of my moods, emotions, and feelings? This is more about women being emotional, right?
This is what you might be thinking but I assure you that 99.9% of what you deal with in your moments of disconnect with your significant other is because you are not emotionally intelligent as it pertains to how you are wired and what pushes your buttons.
Does your significant other get on your nerves? Your siblings? Your boss and coworkers? Of course, they do. We are human so there are things that will just rub us the wrong way. The issue is how do you or how will you respond to those things?
Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. People who have a high degree of self-awareness recognize how their feelings affect their responses (i.e. triggers), other people, and their life and career.
Remember, there is nothing outside of you that can fix what is happening on the inside of you. There is nothing inside of you that can be dictated by outsides entities.
In short, when you respond negatively (outburst, yelling, cussing, threats etc.), it's because you have failed to be self-aware, which means there is little to no self-control and thus all that extra noise you're bringing? Yep, it's all you.
Blaming someone else for your actions is another way of passing the buck and you forgoing accountability for your actions.
Be more self-aware, own your responses and actions then commit to doing something about it.